


Starting with words we've said

by arriveslikeitstrue



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 04:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6501016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arriveslikeitstrue/pseuds/arriveslikeitstrue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started, like many promising things in his life, as a sex thing. A sex game. </p><p>"Wanna play a game?" Sokka had whispered in his ear, trying to sound sexy. He did sound sexy, but that didn't distract Zuko. Not too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting with words we've said

It started, like many promising things in his life, as a sex thing. A sex game. 

"Wanna play a game?" Sokka had whispered in his ear, trying to sound sexy. He did sound sexy, but that didn't distract Zuko. Not too much.

"In like 15 minutes? Let me finish this report real quick," Zuko kept his eyes to the page to make sure that his focus didn't stray. One of the worst things about dating Sokka was that his concentration never lasted long, not whenever Sokka was around and bored. Or horny. Or excited. 

"Okay, take your time! I'll be in the bedroom," Sokka was still trying that ridiculous (but hot) purr, "getting started." He heard Sokka make his way out of the room before he was hit in the face with something soft. Head snapping up startled, he saw a glimpse of Sokka’s naked ass, and looking down on his desk was Sokka's boxer-briefs. 

He rolled his eyes. Concentration broken. God, he barely lasted a whole minute. Still, as he got up and started stripping off his button-down, there were going to be some benefits from this diversion. 

Tied up with a candle in his hand, lying on the bed with his pants shoved down around his knees, and Sokka leaning over to put a blindfold on his face was not what he expected from the diversion. 

"Umm, hey buddy, why do I need a candle?" Zuko was definitely confused; though still on board, this just wasn't what he was expecting.

"The candle is for sexy-times relaxation. Are you okay with being tied up and blindfolded? We haven't done them both before at the same time, but I know you've been wanting to." Sokka was annoyingly perceptive at times. Like in the bedroom. Annoying in the best possible way, though. 

"Yes, this is bearable. I guess," Zuko twitched a little, feeling Sokka's hands skate down his sides. Thankfully his voice was level. 

"Just bearable, let's see if we can fix that," Sokka got off of him and left Zuko feeling blind and listless. He heard a lighter on his left and assumed the candle in his hand was being lit. 

Sokka climbed back on top to straddle him around his hips. "Here are the rules, jerk." His voice sounded excited bordering on giddy, which only make Zuko nervous. "Stop me at any time, no problem. Even if you're just bored. But I hope to keep you interested." A tongue licked down his neck, and Zuko gasped at the unexpected touch. "You seem pretty interested now." Sokka ground their hips together, and Zuko struggled to hold back his moan. 

"The rules?" Zuko pleaded. He was excited to get the game started. 

"Ah, right, so at any give time I might have my mouth or hands full." This time Sokka lapped at his nipple, causing him to involuntarily strain against the silk binds tied to his wrists. "Exactly, so keep the candle lit and in your hand, don't drop it and don't wave it around." 

"Sokka, this seems like a terrible idea, we're going to burn the building down and get evicted." Zuko wanted to be more firm, but it was hard when he was feeling so aroused. 

"I'll be keeping an eye out. Don't worry. And the second rule is, every time I kiss you, you must repeat the sexy mantra!" Sokka gave him a chase kiss on his cheek to demonstrate. 

"What's the mantra?" Zuko was instantly suspicious. He wasn't going to say anything about Sokka's body or their sex life like a mantra, it would be too silly, and he would just crack up laughing halfway through. So would Sokka, for that matter. 

"You have to say: I am beautiful and I am strong," Sokka gave him another gentle kiss above his eyebrow. 

"That's it?" There must be a follow up or some catch, another part about Sokka's dick or something. 

"That's it," Sokka replied simply. "And I've all ready given you a few kisses so you might as well start now and catch up." 

"Okay. I am beautiful and I am strong," Zuko muttered. 

Sokka kissed his lips, feather light. "Again." 

"I am beautiful and I am strong," Zuko could feel his checks flushing and the back of his neck getting hot. This was so revealing. He felt bare and exposed, but he still had his socks on! God, the weirdest things got Sokka hard. 

Sokka moved intentionally, slowly over to his scarred eye. Zuko tensed immediately and sucked in a quick breath. Gently, so carefully like the scar was a fresh wound, Sokka kissed his scarred cheek and non-existent eyebrow. He paused and lingered over his mangled ear, whispering, "say it," before giving a sweet kiss to his earlobe. 

Zuko swallowed around his dry throat, tightening his grip on the candle. Focusing on keeping it upright. "I am beautiful and I am strong," he choked out. 

"Mmm," was Sokka's only response and he moved away, kissing down his chest. "Again... again." 

And it became a like a routine, almost meaningless with how easy it was to say. "I am beautiful and I am strong." It didn't make it true, but it definitely got easier.

It was embarrassing saying these things and feeling so naked. But focusing on the candle made it easier. The container for the candle collected all the wax; the smell of lavender and the gentle heat from the flame was all he could sense. It took his mind away from how ridiculous he must look and sound, and gave him something to concentrate on when Sokka was clearly taking his time and just staring or stroking. 

He tightened his grip on the candle, felt a sweet kiss on his hip. "I am beautiful and I am strong." He no longer had to force it out. It seemed Sokka had understood this by the way he grabbed Zuko's legs and gave a filthy open-mouthed kiss on the inside of his thigh, before moving to his cock. 

And then Sokka's mouth was no longer so mild and other things became a lot harder, and eventually Zuko was sated and relaxed. 

Which led to him burning their sheets with the forgotten candle. But luckily, Sokka turned off the smoke alarm in time.

 

 

Zuko didn't think to ask about that sexy-time mantra or what about that made Sokka hot. He liked exploring Sokka's body and learning what made him desperate and what made him beg, but also Sokka was brave enough to ask for what he wanted in bed. If he wanted to repeat the experience, no doubt he would arrange it again. 

As for Zuko, those words had rung in his head the whole time, until things got more heated. And after their sweat had cooled off and they had rinsed off together (and prevented a small fire), that phrase had still haunted him. He didn't mind it; part of being with Sokka meant being adventurous and trying out new things, that was one of the best things about being with him. 

And yeah, he came memorably hard, but his boyfriend was hot. And they liked and respected each other. The sex wasn't the problem. Not that there was problem! Not now anyways. Eventually, maybe, Sokka would realize how good and beautiful and exciting and lovely he is, and how, well, _not_ Zuko is. But that's okay, that's how it goes. 

So Zuko had just managed to push the mantra or whatever from his mind the next morning, after Sokka has grumpily left for work, complaining about his early morning all the way out the door, when he saw it. A bright pink sticky note hanging on the mirror above the sink, which he noticed while brushing his teeth. 

It read: _you are beautiful and you are strong_. In Sokka's dumb handwriting, with a bunch of hearts drawn all around it. What a dork. He pretended he was only smiling to brush his front teeth. 

Still he took the note and fumbled, not sure where to keep it. In a book it would be safe, but he might forget it. And left out on his nightstand would ensure Sokka’s mockery. He decided to slip in his wallet, hoping he'd forget about it. 

He didn't forget, instead those words burnt a whole in his pocket the whole day. Mostly from the arousing memories from the night before, he told himself. It almost wasn't a lie. 

 

 

That Friday, Toph dragged Sokka out to a bar, who dragged Zuko with him, insisting that they had to suffer together. Zuko wasn't sure why that was, or how Sokka couldn't see that his suffering would be greater, because he hated going out more. 

As if anticipating this point, Sokka leaned in and whispered, "I'll make it up to you, any way you want." Which definitely, absolutely shouldn't have worked, he's a grown man. He doesn't need to be seduced or lured into doing things. 

Still as he grabbed his red hoodie and checked for his wallet (with the note, yes that fucking note was still there), still--he thought--it was effective. 

The bar was dark and loud, and no one could see or hear. Well, no one could hear. Maybe people without any vision impairment could see just fine. He couldn't tell if it was his scarred eye or the bar's lighting that made it so difficult to see. 

Toph laughed when he mentioned this after a few drinks in. "Yeah," she said, "I can't imagine how difficult it is not being able to see clearly." 

Zuko was too busy stuttering and blushing furiously to respond, so Toph took that as a sign to continue. "Because I'm blind, do you get it? That's the joke." Toph cracked herself up so much she almost fell off her stool. 

Luckily Sokka interrupted that horrific moment as he stabilized her before she fell. "What's so funny?" He asked with a grin. 

"Oh nothing," Toph replied. "But did you know I'm blind?" 

"You know, that's something I would have found hard to miss," Sokka said. 

Zuko interjected, "Hey buddy, have you seen Suki around?" 

"What? Yeah, she's over there dancing with Katara and Aang. Speaking of, would you like to dance? I've been known to tear up the dance floor." Sokka held his hand out and looked so hopeful. 

Toph grabbed Zuko's shirt before he could go anywhere, "No, Sokka, I don't think you've ever torn up a dance floor, but you did tear Suki's ACL at junior prom, though, right? Be careful, Zuko, it's a trap!" 

Sokka's dark complexion might have hidden his blush, but his expression gave it away. "How did you do that?" Zuko asked.

"It was an accident, jerk," Sokka's voice rose desperately high, "and she's fine now! Look, she's dancing even."

"She's so fortunate that she was able to dance after years of physical therapy and surgery," Toph agreed sagely. 

"Hey Sokka, if it's any consolation, I was gonna say no even before I heard about Suki's injury," Zuko offered him a smile, but his face had fallen and he was looking down. 

"Fine," he said sullenly, "I'll go join the group." He turned swiftly and walked away. 

"Why'd you say no? I'm sure with years of cotillion or whatever dances rich people do, you must be a great dancer. Or at least tolerable."

"Toph, you probably took the same courses, why aren't you dancing?" 

"Aha! I don't want to dance, and therefore chose not to and just drink instead!"

"Well, me too," Zuko agreed petulantly. 

"Yeah but I don't have a stud-muffin boyfriend who's too friendly for his own good. He's gonna have his own slew of admirers. They're gonna fight over him, while he waits for you to stop being so gloomy." 

"I'm not gloomy," Zuko retorted. "I just hate dancing! It's fine. Nothing to worry about." 

Even the thought of this laid-back bar with fun music and his drunk and frisky boyfriend wasn't enough to lure him to the dance floor. Dancing reminded him too much of the constant lessons and expectations and failure. 

Azula was more graceful than him; he was always the embarrassment during public functions. He imagined he could still feel the clawing necktie entangled in his stifling pressed shirt. He could vividly remember his desperate worry about doing anything to earn his father's wrath or disdain, but was truly more devastated by his disregard and silence. Until the day he learned that silence was, in fact, the kindest treatment his father could offer him. Every alternative was worse. 

He tried to think of another topic, to switch gears and head back to the fun banter. What was something Sokka might say?

Toph interrupted that doomed impression by gently nudging him. "If this bothers you, then maybe you and Sokka should head out. No one will mind. We'll all grab lunch or something later."

Zuko couldn't help but let out a sigh. "No, he's clearly very excited to be here. I'll let him have his fun. He'll make it up to me at home," he quickly covered his mouth. Oh no, he definitely had too much to drink. 

Toph just laughed uproariously, slapping her knee. She banged on the bar top until the bartended finally came by, and then she ordered another round. "Wow, this is great. I want to hear what you'll say when you're plastered."

Embarrassed, he accepted the drink and quickly swallowed down half of it. "Yeah, I might actually need this."

"Don't drink too much," Toph warned. "Or you won't be able to enjoy your present, when you get home." She was cackling into her cup. 

He drained the rest of his drink. Yeah, he was definitely going to need it. He signaled the bartender this time, and then tried to spot Sokka dancing with his friends. He saw him and Suki playfully spinning the other. Zuko laughed to himself. Aang and Katara were weirdly in sync and staring into each other's eyes the whole time. Definitely strange, but also expected. 

"Do you see any guys trying to grind up on your man? What would you do? Challenge them to a duel? Protect Sokka's virtue?" Toph was facing the wrong direction, and Zuko felt it was his duty to politely reposition her. Though she smacked his hand away from her arm, so maybe she wasn't quite as appreciative. 

"Oh, there's no saving that!" Zuko felt triumphant for a second, before again he realized what exactly he'd said. "Please don't tell anyone I said that."

"Don't worry, Sokka's said much dumber things about you. Now tell me, any guys on the periphery? Moving in?" Zuko let the comment pass, and refocused on the group. 

"There's just a few guys checking him out, nothing big." He took a sip of his drink. 

"It's Sokka, that's expected. I'm blind, and even I know he's a good looking dude," Toph gave him a hard nudge. "Doesn't explain how he ended up with you though."

That seemed a little harsh even for Toph, but it was the truth. "Yeah, I don't know. We were--I was lucky to--It worked out."

A weird look passed over Toph's face. She continued, "I meant, because however good looking Sokka is, he worried he wasn't enough for you. He said you were hot like fire, and kept on whining about leagues, and was a little ball of angst before you got together."

"C'mon, there's no way that's true, what are you talking about?" Zuko gave her the flattest stare he could, even realizing it wouldn't help. "Sokka's beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you babe," he heard a voice from behind him say. Sokka swooped down to give him a sweaty kiss on his temple. 

"I was just telling Zuko what a general pain the ass you were before you two got together. How you were crying all the time, and signed up for a gym membership, and started eating kale." Toph was listing things off in her hand, which Sokka covered to get her to stop.

"No! Stop! What? Those were just coincidences. The gym membership was a good deal. I go like every other month. And I like kale!" Sokka insisted. 

Zuko shook his head and said, "Sokka, you absolutely hate kale. I put it on pizza once and you told me I ruined pizza forever." 

"Yeah, not on pizza. Pizza's not supposed to be healthy."

Zuko ran a hand through his hair and looked up. They had this argument way too frequently. 

Sokka seemed to realize this as well, because he paused and took a step closer to Zuko. "Hey, there are a lot of people checking you out here. Especially some tough looking guys. Can I beat them up for you?" Sokka's tone was light and teasing. 

Zuko snorted. "You think you can take them?"

Sokka smiled and stretched his arm around his waist and pull him closer. "Of course. Especially if you help me fight, I know you got some moves." He stroked Zuko's side down to his thighs and squeezed hard. "You know where the best place to settle a fight like this is?"

"Where?" Zuko knew he would regret asking.

"On the dance floor!" Sokka grabbed his hand and pulled him off the stool. "Please come dance with me! Just one song, real nasty, so people know you've all ready got a hook-up for tonight."

"Is this fight between you and me now? Are we having a dance off?" He thought he was better at this banter, but it was hard to keep up with Sokka sometimes. 

"No, no! A dance on, where we grind on each other and flaunt our skills, make everyone jealous that I'm with you," Sokka was now rubbing his shoulders, as if getting him ready for a bout in the ring. 

"And hopefully no one tears their ACL," Toph piped in.

"Exactly, I'm sure you've stretched and loosen up, Zuko. You must be ready."

"No, I was just sitting here on a stool." Zuko saw Sokka's face drop and felt him lean against the bar top. "But one song should be all right. Just to let people know you're taken."

Sokka literally punched the air with his fist. "Yes!" He yelped, "one dance, quick and nasty. Toph, advert your eyes." When she quickly struck him in the arm, he nodded. "Yeah that was fair. C'mon, babe" he said, grabbing Zuko's hand and dragging him away. "Let's go break that PDA rule of yours."

Zuko fruitlessly struggled in his grasp. "Toph, come rescue me if I'm not back in fifteen minutes!"

When Sokka had pushed his way to the center of the dance floor, Zuko following behind, Sokka paused and held his gaze very seriously. Zuko scrubbed at his scar, wondering what Sokka was staring at. He leaned in to whisper into Zuko's good ear, "Hey, you are beautiful and you are strong." Zuko felt himself shiver at the words. Sokka gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Now you might have to work with me here. I am a horrible dancer." 

Zuko smirked up at him, and saw Sokka's pupils dilate. "Oh, I can take care of that."

After getting lost in the movement and Sokka's body, he heard the mantra ringing around in his head. _I am beautiful and I am strong._ Dancing more, he felt himself loosening up and thinking it more freely, remembering how it felt to hear it in Sokka's warm voice. Every so often, Sokka would lean over to tell him how sexy or hot or beautiful he looked. 

Zuko blushed every time, but was able to reply, "Probably just in comparison with your dancing." Sokka threw his head back and laughed, and Zuko grinned, feeling weightless.

They became so immersed in the music and in their own rhythm that he was startled to feel a tap on his shoulder. It was Toph with Suki standing beside her. Toph had the biggest shit-eating grin on her face, while Suki was trying and failing not to laugh. 

"You guys having fun? Need any rescuing?" Toph offered. 

"Is the time all ready up?" Zuko was a little disoriented; he had been so lost in trying to fix Sokka's dancing. Or at least trying to find a rhythm that worked for them. 

"It's been like an hour. We thought you guys might want to take a break and say goodbye to Katara and Aang, they're heading out," Suki said. 

Sokka reluctantly disentangled himself from Zuko, muttering to Toph, "we see them all the time, why do we have to make such a big deal every time..." He and Toph walked away bickering agreeably. 

Suki paused and looked at Zuko, sweaty and flushed from dancing, or attempting to dance at any rate. "Towards the end, you two began to look good out there. You must be a good teacher. Sokka is the worst dancer I've ever seen."

"He does use a lot of elbow when he's dancing," Zuko paused awkwardly to consider his words. "But he's confident and always willing to try new things, and it was fun. After he got the hang of it."

"And you didn't receive a massive bodily injury, so consider yourself lucky." 

 

 

Finally he called his uncle. This has gone far enough. He just needed someone to explain it to him, and lately that person had usually been Sokka. But obviously he couldn't ask him now. 

"Uncle, uh, hi. How are you?" Zuko said once the line picked up. 

"Zuko!" roared Uncle, jovially, "why it's been too long! How come you make your old poor uncle wait so long between visits?"

Zuko bristled, "Uncle, I visited your tea shop last week! You made me cover a shift! I had to cancel date night!" 

Sokka, to his confusion, hadn't been annoyed at all, or if he had he was hiding it very well. He asked if he could stop by the shop and see what the place was like. Zuko begrudgingly agreed, but perhaps he wouldn't have if he knew that Sokka and Uncle would spend the entirety of his shift playing Pai Sho at a back table. By their raucous laughter and constant looks at Zuko, they were clearly gossiping about him. Ugh. He felt flustered just thinking about it. 

"Of course, of course!" Uncle replied good-naturedly. "Just teasing. You are a very good nephew to your old, poor uncle." 

Zuko rolled his eyes. 

"What was it you wanted to ask me?" Uncle continued. "Is there a birthday you need help with? I think Sokka would appreciate a gift card to my tea shop; he seemed to enjoy the atmosphere there." 

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are my calls that predictable?" The silence on the other end of the line was answer enough. He sighed. "I do need help with Sokka, not about his birthday. It's just. Well. A little hard to explain. And I can't get into all the details. But." 

There was a longer pause, where Zuko half hoped Uncle would interrupt him and just end his misery. But he knew that he would never do that, preferring to give Zuko the time to figure out his own thoughts. 

Another sigh. "I can't tell if this is a joke. Or a weird affirmation thing. Or maybe this is something all serious couples do! But it's stuck in my head and I can't stop thinking about it!"

Steady and as calm as ever, Uncle asked him what he meant. 

He sighed again. "Sokka keeps on telling me that I am beautiful and I am strong." Those sweet words fell out of his mouth too quickly, too easily, like a practiced lie. 

Uncle clearly tried muffle his laughter, "Is that such a bad thing, nephew? That is one of the joys of young love!" 

"He keeps on saying it, or making me say it, or making me think it! I don't know what he means! What is he trying to say?" Zuko's free hand was pulling on his hair and his voice rose louder until he almost started yelling. 

There was a long pause. Zuko gulped down deep breaths to help him calm down. 

"Zuko, I don't think Sokka is making fun or trying to make you feel foolish. However I only met and spoke with him for that single afternoon. I believe you should discuss this with him to see what his intentions are." Uncle paused again more briefly, and Zuko struggled to stifle his groan. Why did the old man always seem have all of the answers until he needed one? 

That wasn't fair. There is no way Uncle could have known what Sokka was thinking. Sokka barely knew what he was thinking most of the time. 

"That said, before you have this conversation, perhaps you should meditate on these words. What do they mean to you? How you do feel when you hear them? First reflect on your own inner turmoil, and then you can more reasonably discuss this with Sokka." 

Still feeling pent up frustration, Zuko couldn't help but mutter, "I'm plenty reasonable. It's other people!"

He expected his uncle to laugh like his friends, or his co-workers, or even his grade school teachers would have. Maybe even like Sokka might have. 

Instead Uncle took a shaky breath, and slowly released it. "Yes, Zuko, many people in your life have been unreasonable. Do not forget that. There is strength in remembering what you have survived without letting it control you." 

Startled, Zuko raised his free hand to trace the shell of his burnt ear. He refused to bring those memories up now. He felt like he could drown in his mind if he stayed too long. 

"Uncle, I should go. I want to get started on dinner," Zuko said, fighting to keep his voice even. 

"Of course, dear nephew! I'll see you next week? You'll stop by, and we can play Pai Sho. Maybe your Sokka can help you win even!" His uncle's boisterous laughter belied his flattery. 

"Next week, Uncle. Thank you for your help." He hoped the lump in his throat wasn't obvious. 

"Any time, Zuko! Good night. Remember I love you." He could hear the smile in Uncle's voice. 

Unable to reply the same, he cowardly muttered his goodbyes before hanging up. He resolved to text his love to his uncle, and only received smiley emojis in return. 

Why was being a person was so difficult sometimes? 

 

 

A few days later, Zuko was reading on the sofa, when Sokka burst through the door and threw himself on Zuko's lap. 

He pretended to rest while Zuko pretended to read. Zuko decided to see how long Sokka could wait, if he could be patient at all. 

After a few moments, Sokka became restless, fidgeting and twisting around. Zuko raised a hand to hide his smile. _What an obnoxious dork_ , he thought too fondly. 

He waited another minute just to see if Sokka could. 

Another twist and turn. This time Sokka opened his mouth to speak but seemed to decide against it. Zuko snorted quietly. "Are you done pretending to read then?" The question shot out of Sokka. "Sorry I mean, continue. I'm chill. I'm super chill." He sat up and pushed his hands out, as if to demonstrate. 

Zuko couldn't help his laughter. "Sokka, come on, you have _no_ chill." At his outraged expression, he continued, "Don't worry, you can do other things. Like shopping. And, well, mainly shopping." 

"You're such a liar," Sokka said, "I'm also a great dancer, you jerk." 

"Nope," Zuko said, leaning to kiss along his throat. "But you _are_ a quick learner."

Sokka gulped and let out a shaky breath, "Yeah, I can live with that." 

Zuko pressed Sokka down until he was lying on his back along the sofa. He kissed down Sokka's neck while working his shirt open. Then continued down his chest. 

"Ah-ah, wait, let me set the mood!" Sokka jumped up and skipped to the bedroom. 

"Sokka, it's fine! We don't need--" 

"A candle?" He interrupted. "Making whoopee always benefits from a sensual mood. I want to treat you right, babe." He lit the purple candle and set it down before returning to kiss Zuko. 

Zuko pushed his shoulder back, "If you cared about the mood so much, you shouldn't have called it making whoopee, what are you, a flapper girl?" 

"No, but I would look good in that dress." 

Zuko smirked at that, and playfully smacked his thighs. "You would."

"Ha, so whoopee's out. How about launching the meat missile? Or riding the bony express?" 

"No, no, this is horrible. You're ruining sex," Zuko was laughing too much to sound stern.

"What, you don't want to join me in a bedroom rodeo?" Sokka asked pitifully. 

"Yeah, maybe a rodeo, actually. If you know how to lasso, cowboy." Zuko tried to be sultry, but felt embarrassed the second he played along. He turned his face away. This is why he should just be a wet blanket. 

Kissing him on his shoulder, Sokka said, "I'll take you up on that offer, Pilgrim." 

Zuko felt a rush of relief and let out his breath he forgot he was holding. "No way you're John Wayne, you don't have the attitude for it." 

"Yeah I guess you're the only one grumpy enough for it," Sokka was planting small open-mouth kisses on his throat. 

Zuko pushed Sokka backwards and climbed on top of him. "Darn tootin," he said before kissing his lips passionately. Sokka open his mouth to reciprocate. 

They kissed lazily, tongues teasing and mouths panting. Eventually they slowed down until they were softly trading kisses while lying peacefully; Zuko rested his head on Sokka's shoulder. 

It was the smell of the lavender candle on the coffee table reminded him of the mantra. He cleared his throat. 

"Sokka, I am beautiful and I am strong," he said, just to see what the response would be. 

Sokka looked up at him with a wide, beautiful grin, crinkling his eyes, and replied, "Yes, you are." No hint of a joke. He leaned up to give him another kiss. "Do you believe it? Even a little bit?" 

Sokka looked a little hopeful, but that couldn't be helped really. He was an optimist and a problem-solver. Zuko took a deep breath and thought before he spoke. 

"On _some_ days I believe it. Most days I don't. Most days my scar feels like something that happened to me, and I feel ugly and weak and useless. But on those days, those are the times when I realized that you were right."

Sokka's answering smile was too sweet and worried to be a smirk, but he replied lightly, "Of course I was." 

Zuko breathed out his laugh, "Of course you were. Because I'm not always beautiful, and I don't need to be. But I am strong. I'm so strong that I can tell myself the things I need to hear. I can be strong enough to accept who I am. I've got the strength to keep trying and working at things, even if they just blow up in my face." 

"Yes, you are. You are so strong, you are resilient," Sokka hugged him tighter. 

"So I don't need you," Zuko had to get this out. Even if Sokka had froze and started to shift away. "I don't know if you're trying to protect me or save me or what. But I don't need that. I'm strong enough." 

He wanted to make sure Sokka heard that; he wasn't frail and he wasn't sick. "I don't need to be looked after. But I could--I would like for you to care for me, and uh, about me. And I care about you too. Ugh, this isn't coming out right. You can help me as long as I can help you too, all right? We'll help each other." 

Sokka looked deep in thought, genuinely serious for once. This was horrible. Sokka was just making a nice gesture, and Zuko fucked it up, like always. Getting too serious and being too proud, like always. 

Finally, Sokka spoke, "You don't need my strength; you've got your own. But if you ever want my help, you've got it. It's yours. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was trying to do more." 

"No, not really. I just," Zuko took a deep breath, "I'm just trying to be more honest. That's what Uncle is always telling me." 

"Well in the interest of being honest, do you want to hear my mantra?" 

Zuko was startled; he couldn't imagine what Sokka needed a mantra for. He was wonderful. 

"Sure, what is it?" Hopefully he didn't sound as astonished as he felt. 

"I tell myself, I say, I am good enough and I deserve kindness," Sokka spoke quietly and wasn't meeting his eyes. 

"Do you believe it?" 

"Yeah, some days I do. Those days are the victories." Sokka looked up with a sheepish grin. 

"Let's believe in each other, so the other days aren't as hard," Zuko offered. 

"Sounds like a good deal to me," Sokka smiled wide and bright. Zuko smiled freely in response. Their shared kiss felt like a promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
